Stupid Stuff For Your Lawn!
Have you ever had problems trying to grow flowers, bushes,
or just plain grass? Well that's because you haven't been feeding
your lawn right. And don't think you need to buy expensive lawn food
like Miracle Blow. Just feed your plants as you would yourself.
Courtesy of some moronic ad I found, here are some ways to improve your
lawn. All quotes are 100% real cheese. I didn't make this stuff
up.
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"Instant tea energizes flowers"
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"Roses love banana peals" - I don't want to know any more
about rose's private life...
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"Whiskey - the key to houseplant success" - As well as your
own, if you ask me. Personally, I recommend using well-aged single
malt Scotch for your houseplants.
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"[Cola] really gets your compost a cookin'" - I never knew
cola was flammable...
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"Mouthwash fights off lawn disease" - And you thought it
just fought off gum disease, shows how stupid you are!
The book will all these wonderful ideas also comes with a
cassette tape called, "Growing Power." I figure you play it every
day for your plants and they'll grow better somehow. |